The highs and lows of self esteem

Written by Stuart Haden on October 7, 2020

Somewhat following up from a previous posting Don’t get high on the high street, I have spotted a mis-match of the highest proportions.

The corporate world wants you to have high self esteem. So that you can be at your best. But we promote low self esteem on the high street, through advertising, branding and comms. So that we can buy products that make us feel better about ourselves.

Of course it gets interesting when many of us flip between the two very

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Does learning break or build confidence?

Written by Stuart Haden on September 23, 2020

When it comes to personal development we often want more, to do something – to build our confidence for example. A typical, but maybe too stereo typical starting point. Equally (together with building) what do you need to break down? To stop, lessen or change.

If transformation is on the cards then most likely activities to break and build will surface, but the sequencing can be key. You might need to do more harm than (then) good initially. We need to hold

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After flow you need a low

Written by Stuart Haden on September 9, 2020

The clue is in the name, after flow you need a low. It’s a bit misleading because when we are acting and feeling our best we associate it with a high.

But in order to get there you need low resistance, a narrowed focus. Switch off and re-charge. Lower the pressure and any time restrictions. Do away with that always on mentality and profile. We all know you can’t keep it up.

We aren’t throwing the baby out with the bath water, trying to

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Introducing Endure by Alex Hutchinson

Written by Stuart Haden on August 26, 2020

Endure by Alex Hutchinson is a top book, mixing science, personal stories and even a few myths. There is no overwhelming message, instead it comes from the process of reading and shifting your own mindset.

Pleasing to see that there are no exact recommendations, just take from it want you want. Or what you need. “Nothing is inevitable, nothing is simply mathematical.” Now we can consider our own personal limits.


What are you a commitment to?

Written by Stuart Haden on August 12, 2020

Just a quick edit to a well held question. One that ups the ante. Accountability goes through the roof and success and more likely to be guaranteed. Are you committed? What are you committed to doing next?

No let’s stop the tape and bring the question even closer. Uncomfortably so maybe. What are you a commitment to? No more talk and chitter chatter. Embody and embrace. No more gaps and cracks, commitment will fill those.


Being seen and safe

Written by Stuart Haden on July 29, 2020

Values are at the heart of optimal performance. Being valuable. Valuing your values. But we often lose sight of some our basic needs and values.

But what are these? Well being seen and being safe might be at the route of all evil good.

Returning to authenticity (expressing your values skilfully in the environment around you) let’s see how these two line up.

Expressing aligns perfecting with the value of being seen. Express yourself.

Skilfully measures up against being safe. At the right time and

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On and off switch

Written by Stuart Haden on July 15, 2020

As the saying goes no one built an off switch. We go on and on and on. We are on and on and on.

Many of my coaching programme naturally gravitate towards this approach. Wanting more, kick starting, trying something new. But we might need to turn something off in order to save energy elsewhere. When you think about it this actually is a more logical place to start. A save before a sale. Keeping back some energy for other pursuits.


Are you problem or possibility focussed?

Written by Stuart Haden on July 1, 2020

Logical and intuitive preferences are widely recognised. The head and the heart, dichotomies at their furthest extremes. But to add in an extra layer – are you problem (logical) or possibility (intuitive) focussed?

These two come together quite quickly but there’s more. Now consider whether you are linear or non linear in your approach. So maybe using the power of 3’s we could describe…

Logical, problem, linear.

Intuitive, possibility, non linear.


What’s the fuel behind your flame?

Written by Stuart Haden on June 17, 2020

Nice little metaphor this one in the context of energy. We can all relate to fuel, in our tanks and vehicles or rockets.

If you are fuelled up there must have been a spark, and now it might strike. But how does the flame manifest? Roaring or Olympic. The impact and outcomes. Hard to touch, hot to the touch. Dial up and dial down.


Seeking the apex of optimal performance

Written by Stuart Haden on April 22, 2020

This is the third posting in relation to The Art of Fear by Kristen Ulmer. I love the way she talks about the apex, far better than my previous held words such as balance, fusion or harmony. Now I can hold a new word and world.

Angling towards a sweet spot, an apex – the best of both worlds. Two things that are both firing, at the right time and in the right place. Set and setting. A fine line maybe.

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